There is a saying that I like: hunger is the best sauce. Implying of course, that the hungrier you are, the better your food is bound to taste. Bangkok Spoon is the exception to this saying. As famished as I was, there were parts of my lunch that were inedible.
******NB: As of this summer 2010, Bangkok Spoon has been closed. I'm sure it has little if nothing to do with my review, but at least we are all saved from the tragedy of dining there. RIP.
The place looks quite nice from the street; sleek, hip and new with faux wood retro 70's chairs and a gleaming bar. Generally, when going for Thai food, I prefer something a little more authentic where the decor is concerned Bamboo makes me feel good and so does proper Thai music playing in the background. I'm wondering why there seems to be this trend in many Asian places towards a sterile, personality-less environment. Are we, as the consuming masses, afraid of contracting e-coli from a surface that is rough or uneven, possibly hosting billions of bacterial microbes? Are we destined to eat our Pad Thai in futuristic chamber booths that pump oxygen and have Purell dispensers conveniently located underneath your chair? (Where, incidentally, at any real restaurant, there should be a wad of gum). Is this fear, or is it merely a burnout extension of the Asian- minimalist decor craze? If the food is fresh and good, I'm okay with it. Salad King, on Gould Street, is the perfect example of a place that renovated to make things more glistening and modern, but in the process maintained some vestige of authenticity and integrity.
Do you remember your mother telling you that you can judge the cleanliness of a restaurant by their bathroom? Listen, I don't care how clean my food is. Bleach is not a food ingredient. Bangkok Spoon boasts pristine washrooms-- they practically sparkle and Music is gently piped in to enhance your washroom experience. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to a restaurant to hang out in the loo.
I ordered the coconut shrimp, which arrived as the saddest pieces of freezer-burned breaded shellfish that I've ever been expected to eat. Their appearance was that of cardboard: dry and stiff. In fact, I wasn't even sure that they were shrimp. What I think happened here, was that the cooks grabbed some bad frozen breaded shrimp on sale from their supplier, tossed them in dry coconut and plunged them into the depths of the deep fryer for way too long. Despite being over- cooked, they arrived before my cocktail. I politely reminded my server about the drink and she sauntered back to the bar where, I assumed she was making it. (Did I mention that we were the only table in the place?) The hot and sour soup was absolutely inedible. A red gel hosting shards of drowning tofu and slimy vegetables. Surprisingly, the Mango Salad was great. Nice, firm strips of fruit with cashew and cilantro in a nicely balanced yet still tangy dressing. Who knew?
To fairly judge any Thai restaurant it is important to try both a noodle dish and a curry. If the place is any good, the noodles will be properly cooked-- not mushy and glue-like with a fresh selection of seafood, meat or vegetables. A good curry will have the right balance of heat, saltiness, sweet and sour, and the ratio of sauce to ingredients in the curry is important. If they are using fresh ingredients, the sauce will be just that:a sauce-- a lovely fragrant compliment to delicious ingredients not a lake of spiced coconut milk for a few slices of beef to swim in. Cornstarch should not make an appearance in Thai curries, either, so gloopy sauces are a no no.
My cocktail finally arrived.
The Pad Thai here is beyond questionable. A tangle of mushy, pink noodles were displayed on the side of the plate decorated only with a few curds of scrambled egg and peanut shavings. The remaining space on the plate was filled with meat, hopefully beef, since that's what we ordered, with a sauce that looked as though it was made from leftover hot and sour soup. I had to ask my friend again what she had ordered since I had never seen Pad Thai look like this before. She told me it was Beef Curry and Pad Thai?
My acid test on this afternoon was a plate of Pad Woon Sen, my favourite Thai noodle dish made with stir fried glass noodles, chicken , shrimp, egg and tofu garnished with peanut, lime and cilantro. Normally, the noodles are soaked and then fried in a sauce of lime, tamarind and sugar. I had vague hints of each of these flavours but the general taste was not pleasant. The chicken had the consistency of a junkyard tire and the shrimp, oddly enough, tasted of coconut (again, I think they re-used uneaten soup for a marinade or sauce).
As we attempted to feed ourselves, a table of three reasonably intelligent looking men filed in and sat, looking at the menu. I had half a mind to tell them to leave while they still could. A rotund gentleman had come in earlier to order takeout and escaped the confines of the restaurant, white styrofoam bag in hand. I felt as though we had all been duped. I don't normally dislike stuff so much. I try to find something good in everything. Hence, the mango salad. But it was not enough to redeem Bangkok Spoon. It's a shame they spent all that money on their bathroom.
As we mounted our bicycles in attempt to escape the bitter Thai experience, we noted a nice looking couple perusing the menu on Bangkok Spoon's sandwich board. I looked at my friend and she could tell that I felt badly about the prospect of these decent people wasting their money and the beautiful sunny day.
"Don't eat there," my friend offered, "it's shit."
The couple, peered at us, with wide eyes and mouths rounded in quizzical "o" s. They quietly consulted each other with meaningful nods. Grateful for the candid review, they thanked us and hurried off to find something better. They didn't have very far to go. Interestingly enough, there is another small Thai place right beside Bangkok Spoon. You'd think that with a competitor right next door, they'd step it up a bit. They'll have to move a lot faster than our couple who escaped!
Price: $$ Lunch $15 pp and dinner $20 pp.
Value: Poor.
Jenny likes it this much: * Kife, don't bother. (I'd use their bathroom again, though.)
469 Danforth Avenue, Toronto, ON M4K1P1
in between Arundel & Logan
Phone: (416) 916-4388
*Who sucked whom for this review?
http://www.torontolife.com/guide/restaurants/thai/bangkok-spoon/review/
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